Well this didn't really happen last night ... but I just finished my journal page LOL
I talked to my Mama almost every single day without fail my whole life … it was only those last days before cancer took her life that she was unable to speak back. Every day I went to the hospital determined to get those last words to her out and every day I could not get a sound to escape my own lips knowing I would not hear her soothing voice.
Not a single day has passed since that I have not longed to hear her voice again and hoped for any sign that she is still with me. My mother had a very quiet strength and spirit … so quiet that I feel I cannot recognize her presence when she is near and I have never stopped searching for those signs.
My dear sweet doggie Bubbles was sick the same time as my mother; I always felt she hung on those last few months so she would be here to help me through those first months of grief after my mother was gone. After Bubbles passed away I asked my mother to give me a sign that they were together.
Several months after my mother’s death, I dreamed she and I were looking out the window of a house over a misty swamp. All these animals danced across the top of the water through the trees and disappeared in the fog ... very ghostlike and eery. My mother never uttered a word and yet I was so glad to see her again; she seemed so real. In my dream I reached out to touch her on the arm and she evaporated into thin air.
Last week I had another nightmare where I was searching for my mother, which prompted the I Dreamt Last Night journal page I posted on November 18th. The night after I posted it to my blog, my mother and Bubbles came to visit me in a dream and I heard my mother’s voice for the first time in six years. She had no great words of wisdom for me, but her voice filled me with such a great sense of peace … the kind of peace that can only come with the visit of a loved spirit.
My family chose the dove as a symbol for my mother; she was always the peacemaker in the family and true to her nature, she swooped into my dream and gave me the peace I so desperately longed for.
I thought it was fitting that I post this today, as this is what I am most thankful for this Thanksgiving holiday.